“Hurry ruins saints as well as artists.” ~ Thomas Merton
It’s an easy trap to fall into at the beginning of a new
year. I've heard a few people talk about
their “bucket lists”. There are things
to be accomplished, projects to complete, dreams to be fulfilled. It all sounds very ambitious, productive,
exciting…spiritual even. Does not the
Great Creator want all of us to experience more, see more, grow more, live more
abundantly? Shouldn't this be the year
of volunteering with Habitat for Humanity, starting a bible study, getting my
finances in order, forging relationships with new people? Shouldn't it be the year I get more organized
with my time and money? Do more for
others? Put some more more into life?
Again I am stirring an internal pot of choices and
options. Always wanting to be more, do
more, know more. But there’s merit to
that old saying… “It’s not the
destination, it’s the journey.” I am already sick in my soul from the two
enemies that most plague me: hurry and fear.
Always these have bit me with their slow-death kind of poison. The antidote to hurry is foreign to my nature
– the twin syringe loaded with slowness and contentment.
Here I am addressing the hurry component. (Fear needs a
10-blog series of its own). And here,
with forced deep breaths and attentiveness to one thing at a time, I believe
there is the uncovering of what’s missing: the joy and gratitude of living in
the present.
My dear friend told me a story this morning that is a
metaphor for the ridiculousness of all of our rushing about. On a long awaited trip to Disney’s magic
kingdom, my friend was savoring the sights and sounds: Cinderella’s magical castle, the smell of
cinnamon rolls from a Main St. USA bakery, the old- fashioned music and the
sparkling delight in the eyes of visitors.
In the midst of all of this, her travelling companion spent the bulk of
time on the magical Main St. talking and surfing on her phone, planning her
next vacation in February. We can all
gasp and murmur at the stupidity of it all, except that each of our days offers
us beauty and wonders that we continually forfeit in the quest for the next
“fulfilling experience”. We are in a
kingdom of boundless grace every minute of our lives, and we miss it while we
multitask our way to productivity and accomplishment.
Dreams, goals and even bucket lists are important in
planning and moving forward. After all,
it is also true that “Without a vision, the people perish” ~Proverbs 29:18. What I’m wrapping my dissipated head around
though is this: if the goal (destination) becomes all, what of the
journey? Full as it is of the taste of
cranberry bread that gets swallowed whole on route, or the sound of a cat
purring on a warm radiator while the 6 o’clock news drowns it out. Is it possible there is some irony in
planning a “ministry night” to reach out to folks feeling empty and dry, when
there’s no time for slowly sipped coffee with God Himself in the morning? Since when did the sum of life matter more
that the quality of its parts?
I write these words
from the place of far too much understanding.
Hurry ruins saints, as well as artists.
For today, I have decided to shut up and slow down. When my children speak, I want to hear their
every word…without a need to conjecture or advise. I want to look into those 3 sets (in age
order) of brown, green and blue eyes, and savor these moments with them,
moments of pain as well as pleasure, these God redeemed moments of the only
earthly life I get. I want to move
slowly in the kitchen, cutting up the slightly wilted zucchini into my week’s-worth
of vegetable soup, to smell the onions cooking, to enjoy the feel of the wood
spoon against the pot.
I choose to live in
this very moment. That is the one item
on this year’s bucket list.
No matter what your plans and goals are, you dear precious
people, don’t be the fool I have so often been.
While you travel to your dream, feel the cold, prickly wind on your
face, cry the big tears of grief, laugh hard and long, and give thanks to Him
who is always living in the present.
We fret not, for God is the Artist who, in perfect time, turns ruin into resurrection.
Your friend on the pilgrim road,
Loriann
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